It still seems surreal to me that I have become a father. Everyday now I come home from work or school and there is sweet little person in Callie's arms. I keep thinking to myself, what were people thinking to allow us to take this little child home. She is so precious, so little, so dependent. Amazing stuff. I was telling Callie today that I think that becoming a parent and coming to the realization of parenthood is something that unfolds in stages (it seems). Right now, Clara is so dependent on Callie that as much as I get to hold her and change her diapers it still seems like she is not completely mine or here (if that makes sense). I am not sure I will completely come to the realization that she is my kid until the first time she says "da da" and melts my heart. But, then I guess that the parent realization continues when I get to feed her 'real food' for the first time. Then when I get to take her to school for the first time. Parenthood seems to unfold little by little. Maybe some of you who have been parents for a little while can chime in.
I am excited to say that I only have 2 classes left and I am done with graduate school. I picked up my Multnomah Diploma yesterday and put it in my special degree matted frame. It was a cool realization that one chapter is finally over. I know I will struggle to finish these last two classes because all I can seem to do is hold that little tiny munchin that is waiting for me when I get home. I am still jobless and have not received any phone calls for interviews for teaching jobs. But, we still have our reservation for the moving truck scheduled for July 23rd. We are excited to move back despite being jobless because of the desire to be close to family. I know God has something planned for us, I am just unsure what it is. God has provided for us up to this point so I am not doubting. It is just always hard to be in transition when you have no idea what the next step might look like. God subtly changed our plans for my schooling over the 3 years while we were in Portland (which led me to get two M.A.'s instead of a MDIV) and it looks like he might subtly be moving me to the public school arena instead of a private Christian school. I don't know. We'll see what he does....we are still 'finding our place' I guess.
Of course the moment you have all been waiting for....Clara is 3 weeks old. She is already growing so much and it is so fun to see her develop. She is having quite a bit more awake time which is fun and she is finally starting to develop her eyesight. Callie and I get to see her go cross-eyed every so often as she tries to focus in our faces when we are smiling at her. While seeing Clara is a huge benefit of this whole parenthood thing the thing I am most excited to watch is Callie becoming a mom. Callie has always been an amazing caring person and given of herself to kids, as you all know, but to see her do this for her own child is something special. I knew she was going to be an amazing mom because of her heart and because of how much she knows about kids. But, to actually see it in action is pretty amazing stuff. I love seeing her with little B. She challenges me spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and physically by her ability to give of herself and love on this baby girl. I am falling in love with her all over again just in a different way. Callie is one amazing wife, and now momma! What a catch I got when she sealed the deal nearly 4 years ago. I cannot wait to continue to watch her develop as a mom and challenge me as a dad throughout baby Clara's life.
I think this is part of understanding what it means to reflect Christ through our marriages in that we are constantly trying to out serve one another and give ourselves away to another person. This idea is heightened when both of us come together in order to give ourselves away for a little one. Plus, the closeness and intimacy that a couple can express while co-parenting a child causes them to be more gracious and truthful with each other, like Christ who was full of grace and truth. Just some thoughts....
OK, here are some 3 week photos!!
Clara helping Dad with his homework.
She also thought the book was boring and fell asleep.
My beautiful little girl!
Happy 3 weeks!
Hands together, pondering, pose.
Flexing her muscles pose
I know I am the cutest baby on the block pose. :)
